Lost
by Lightning Lindy
Summary: Because without him she was lost. A story of Lorelai and her family after she loses her best friend. AU! COMPLETE!
1. Default Chapter

Lorelai got deliveries from Luke's. Lorelai got the best pizzas Joe could make. Lorelai got Luke's 2-year-old son, Derek William and Lorelai got to morn on April 27, 2008, when a drunk driver hit Luke's car and he died from sudden impact.

Now, the story I'm about to tell is a miraculous one. It is not intended for those who are looking for something to pass the time. This story is meant for everyone whose lost someone and had to deal with the pain. I'm have never lost a lover so I can't understand, but for those who have my deepest sympathies. If you're willing I'd love your stories, so that I can make this as realistic as possible.


	2. Beginnings and Endings

Disclaimer: Sorry I don't own GG althought i wish i did b/c then i wouldn't have to wait till September for new epi's

A/N: ENJOY

* * *

**Beginnings and Endings **

Ring … Ring

_That's got to be Luke. I'm sure Kirk kept him late again._ She paused Willy Wonk and smiled at her sleeping toddler.

"Hello. May I speak to Mrs. Lorelai Danes," it was a voice Lorelai had never heard in her life

Confused she replied, " This is she. May I ask whose calling?"

"I'm Doctor Emily Slimmer. Mrs. Danes, I'm afraid I have some bad news, your husband Luke Danes was hit by a drunk driver. His airbags didn't deploy and he died from sudden impact. I am so sorry"

She couldn't speak. _This isn't happening._ Tears started to roll down her cheeks_. It's impossible; he said he would always be there._

"Mrs. Danes, are you there?"

"Yes," you could her the pain behind her voice.

"We need you at Hartford Memorial to sign forms and direct him to a memorial home."

"Ok, Goodbye," she couldn't stop crying. She just wanted to cry, but she realized she had to go to the hospital.

She looked at the phone and dialed a familiar number.

"R-R-Rory."

"Mom what's wrong? I just passed Monty."

"H-h-he's gone."

" Oh my God,"

"We have to go …….."

Just then Rory came through the door.

"Oh, Mom," was all she could say. Her mom, the strongest person she knew, was on the floor crying with the phone in her hand. Now, it was her turn to be strong for her mother even though she wanted to cry her eyes out. Rory gently picked her mother up and got her into the family car. When she saw the car seat, she remembered Derek. As she entered the house to grab her little brother, she smiled. He was just so little and innocent. She picked him and the baby bag up, grabbed the keys and headed out the door.

The ride was silent. You could only hear the sniffles of Lorelai and Rory, who was desperately trying not to cry.

" It's…okay to ..cry," Lorelai said between tears.

" I know," she said turning toward her mother. Her face was almost as blotchy as her mothers. " Look we're here."

Once inside Lorelai tried to be strong. She had a 2-year-old son and he knew nothing.

Rory went up to the desk and performed all the necessary tasks so that they could see Luke. _Why now? We were just getting closer. He was my dad. _ Rory had just recently been calling Luke, Dad. It slipped one day and they both agreed Dad was very appropriate.

"Excuse me, Miss. Danes," the doctor said looking at Rory. " You both can see him if you'd like,"

Rory looked toward her sobbing mother, " Do you want to see him?" Lorelai nodded.

" Ok I'll stay with Derek." The doctor took Lorelai with him. When they reached Luke he said, " I'll leave you with him,"

She entered the room and pulled up a chair by Luke. He was fairly bruised and cut.

" Luke how could you? I can't do this without you. Not again. Who will be there for me? Why now? Everything was perfect. I was happy and you were happy. What about Derek? It's not fair to him, Luke. He lost his daddy at 2. How do you explain this to him? Who will teach him to play baseball? Or cook a burger? What about Luke's? The whole town needs you Luke. Rory's graduating college next month. She needs a Daddy, too." Lorelai tears came faster now and it became difficult to speak. She grabbed a tissue off the desk and wiped the running mascara from her cheeks. Now, she had to see her son and be strong.

Rory went next, " Hi Daddy. I miss you a lot already. Dad why did you go? Mom and Derek need you more than anything now. It's not fair. I'm trying to be strong, but I can't. It's the hardest thing possible Luke. I just want you back. I want it all to just go away. I want to go home with you. And be drinking coffee while you and mom debate a movie. I want you to know that I love you dad," Rory was now sobbing, " You were the best dad a girl could ask for and now you're gone." Rory knew it was up to her to take charge now and she would try as best as she could.

Out in the hall Derek was waking up.

"Hi bud. Did you have a good nap," He nodded.

" Mommy sad?" he could sense something wasn't right with Lorelai.

" Yea Mommy's sad,"

" Come?"

" Well, Derek," She said sitting him on her knee. " Daddy went away."

" Where?"

" Derek, Daddy went to heaven and he's not coming back," She said. A small tear slid down her face and she hugged him really tight. Rory walked on this and realized it would be too stressful to stay much longer. She walked up to her brother, " Hey Derek!" she turned toward her mother. " I think we should go," she nodded in agreement.

They left and when they got home everyone fell asleep on the couch together. They finished Willy Wonka and were now entangled in the funniest position. Rory woke up first and realized that she had to call everyone. Liz….TJ…Jess. _Jess… Maybe Mom will call him. I don't think I can talk to him. _

_Hungry. Need food. Need coffee. Go to Luke's …I mean. Not Luke's. There's no more Luke's because there's no more Luke._ And that's when tears streaked Lorelai Gilmore's face. She now realized that she would wake up everyday not having Luke and that hurt more than anyone could possibly imagine.

* * *

Hi guys! Hoped you liked reading it as much as I liked writting it. For all those you don't remember. In Concert Innteruptus, they metion turning pass Monty the rooster. That was the one thing that popped into my head so that's why he's in there 

** R/R!**


	3. Sad Sights and a Meaningful Conversation

A/N: Sorry it took so long. I had envisioned this chapter for awhile. Envisioning is one thing writing is another.

Without further ado…

* * *

**Sad Sights and a Meanignful Conversation**

It was a sad sight. A little boy, dressed in black, was clutching his mother's black dress as she held him on her hip and tears streamed down her face. Next to her stood a young women of about 25 also dressed in black and crying. Beside the young woman was a man of the same age in the same attire, black. All eyes, the citizens of the small town they lived in included, followed the chestnut casket, as it was lowered 6 feet under. After, the four were drowning in a sea of " I'm sorrys ", " My condolences' " and " My deepest sympathies' ". It was a sad sight.

The eldest didn't want to believe it was happening. That yet again she would be left without a man in her life and yet again she would raise a child alone. It wasn't happening in her mind.

The young woman just wanted it to end. She wanted to go to sleep without crying. She wanted to be in a classroom right now, filling her head with information she would use as she stepped into the real world next month. All she wanted was for it to end.

The man wanted to rewind time. He wanted to apologize to the wonderful gentleman that is no longer with us. He wanted to tell him he loved him and he just wanted to see his face. He wanted to make a sarcastic remark to the man, but he couldn't. He just wanted to rewind time.

" Rory," he called. " Let's go to your house ok? Lorelai, Derek you too." He was the thread holding that family together right now. It was funny how he was helping them because they would've hated him if he were here under different circumstances.

" Jess, can you take Derek?" the fact that she asked amazed even her. " I'll catch up with you guys,"

"Ok, but if your not there in fifteen minutes I'm coming for you!"

She nodded as she handed over her precious baby to the hoodlum she never trusted in the past.

Lorelai stood, reading his gravestone:

_Lucas Alexander Danes _

_1968-2008_

_Loving husband, father, uncle, and diner man._

_We will never forget you. _

Every word on it was true. He was the best husband ever. Even when Lorelai was pregnant and when she was moody. When she was being stubborn or silly. Luke was there for her no matter what. Rory would tell you that he was the best dad. He made her coffee cake on her 16th birthday and fed her mashed potatoes when she was sick. And that was before he married her mother. He sent her a pro-con list that ultimately made her go back to Yale. He was the best dad. Jess wouldn't even speak of Luke has a loving uncle. Everyone knew the story and it needed no reinforcement. He was a diner man. Running Luke's for 20 years, serving all those people and dealing with Kirk for that long made him the best. Never will anyone forget Luke Danes. His family wouldn't stand for that. He was too amazing to forget. Lucas A. Danes' gravestone did not tell a lie.

That would be enough for now for Lorelai V. Danes. She would always return to this spot, that she knew. But for now she had closure knowing he lived an amazing life and was an amazing person. That was the one word to describe Luke, amazing.

Jess hated this. He hated seeing Rory in such pain and not being able to fix it. Rory praised Jess' presence because she didn't have to be strong for her mother, brother, and self. He could. When they first called Jess, it was assumed that he wouldn't stay for long. I suppose every can surprise you in the strangest ways because he was staying. He would help take care of the diner and the girls. It would have been what Luke wanted and Jess would do anything to make him proud.

" Why are you doing this?" Rory questioned. " Is it because you feel guilty?"

He looked at her. The deep pools of blue that had once been there was replaced with a gray cloud of sorrow, " Yes I feel guilty,"

" You don't have to stay. You can go back to where ever the hell you came from,"

" I know that, but I also know that Luke would be disappointed in me and I don't think I can take that," Finally, the emotion leaked out of Jess. Just in small droplets the way a faucet would. They were at the front steps by now and Derek had been taking by Miss. Patty when they arrived. Rory was patting Jess' back telling him that it was going to be all right when she couldn't even believe herself. She couldn't believe without Luke her family could sustain life, yet she realized she would have to.

Lorelai approached them, " Where's Derek?"

"Miss. Patty," Rory replied

" Can you leave us alone for a while? I want to talk to Jess,"

Rory nodded and entered her childhood home. Lorelai now focused all her attention on Jess.

" Did you ever graduate?"

" No," He replied. You could tell he didn't want to talk, but he didn't have the energy to fight her for privacy.

" Stars Hollow has a great school."

" I know."

" Are you planning on going back?"

" Where,"

" To school? New York? Whichever you've made your mind up about or whichever you want to talk about."

He looked up at her and knew she was sincere, " I am not going back to New York."

" Why not?"

"I can't have the diner being burnt down,"

" Ok. In that case, you will go take your G.E.D. You can't fight me on that one"

" That's reasonable. Can I have the apartment above the diner?"

" Yes because it's yours."

" What?"

" In Luke's will you got the diner."

" Oh,"

" Before you move me and Rory have to retrieve some stuff."

" What?"

" His baseball hats and flannel shirts."

He smirked, " Leave me one of each, please,"

" I wouldn't have it any other way."

" Thanks… for everything."

" No problem."

Lorelai and Jess entered the house and mingled with the guests. Sookie had gone all out on the food and everything was delicious. Slowly, the trio was coming to terms with the situation that faced them and was ready to take on anything that came in their way.

* * *

A/N: Umm sorry it took so long to right this. I'm really going to try to update more often since it's summer. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! 


	4. Coffee, Brad Pitt, and George Clooney

**A/N: **This is my fabulous next chapter. It's a lot happier then my previous chapters. I would've updated sooner, but I got grounded.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gilmore Girls, Blue's Clues, Ocean's Eleven, Brad Pitt, or George Clooney. If I had my pick, I'd say Blue's Clues. Haha

**I LOVE ALL MY REVIEWERS! HERE ARE A FEW:**

**Lorelai Elizabeth Mariano:** Sorry about your mom.

**Emily**: Sorry about your friend. I hope your sister is better.

**ProFfeSseR**: Glad to hear you like it. You wrote one of the first stories I ever read

* * *

**Coffee, Brad Pitt, and George Clooney**

It was the same. Not much had changed, not the name or size. No one dared to move things around. The No Cell Phone sigh still hung where it always had as did William's order on the wall. The only thing that changed was Jess stood in the spot the grumpy man had once.

Lorelai came bursting through the door, " Jess. Coffee," I told you nothing had changed.

" If I say no, what happens?" he asked with that classic smirk.

" You will be brutally murdered with…." She looked through her bag for something that could kill Jess. "a quarter."

" Well in that case," Jess then got up to where new customers sat and took their order.

She followed him saying, " Excuse me Jess! I NEED COFFEE!"

" I'm sorry about her. She's crazy!" Jess said to the customers.

"Jess!" she whined. It was such a distinctive whine. " I NEED COFFEE!"

"No, you don't. The only thing a person truly needs is water." He smirked while walking back to the counter and handing Caesar the order.

"Well, I'm special and instead of water I need coffee!"

" Technically, water is in coffee, so you can't have coffee instead of water."

" All the more reason to give it to me," she smiled hopefully.

"Umm…no," he walked around a bit more, clearing plates and giving people their orders. When he came back, a woman with dark hair and blue eyes had a cup of coffee in front of her.

_Dammit. I shouldn't have left her alone_. " Lorelai, the 'no going behind the counter' rule still stands!"

"So?"

" So, rules are meant to keep people safe and shouldn't be broken!"

_He's getting more and more like Luke._ " Look who's talking, Mr. Chalkline-outside-Doose's."

" That was different. It was way more funny," He snickered remembering the event.

" Ok then Mr. I-stole-Rory's bracelet."

He had lost. It was as if WW 1 was happening again and he was Germany, " Fine, but next time I'll win."

" Who are you? Hitler?" She laughed.

" Actually no. I have nothing against Jews, Poles, and Gypsies. Not that I have ever met a Gypsy or Pole."

" Oh aren't we the little comedian!"

" Really! You think so?"

She took out the quarter she had threatened him with previously and threw it at him. He ended up catching it and charging her an extra 50 cents, 25 for attempting to hit him and another for going behind the counter.

" You're mean." Lorelai exclaimed while forking over to Washingtons.

" I mean?" Jess said, amazing that she would make such an accusation. " You threw a quarter at my head!"

" But I missed." She protested.

Just then Rory walked in with her brother, saying, " Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-de cool it."

" Who's who?" Lorelai questioned as she took her son from her daughter.

" I would answer that, but I love you too much!" Rory said with Jess' smirk lying across her face.

He heard this and added a word of advice, " Be careful what you say. She might throw a quarter at you…missing, of course. You Gilmores aren't the athletic types. Such a shame too."

" Jess shut up!" Lorelai commanded

" Yeah S, hut up!" Derek added in defense of his mother.

" Mom," Rory sighed in preparation for the sarcasm that would drip from her mouth,

" how many times do I have to tell you? No throwing change at people… with the exception of Taylor."

"Rory, I'm ignoring you! JESS!"

" What now, Lorelai?" he said, obviously agitated.

" It's Friday,"

" Thank you for the announcement! If you wait here, I'll go get my megaphone so all of Stars Hollow will be informed."

" I'm not THAT patient. Anyway, since it's Friday and Rory's going down to Georgia to meet the Devil and her husband, I was wondering if you and I could have a movie night."

He sighed, " I will, but ABSOLUTELY NO CHICK FLICKS OR WILLY WONKA!"

" Ok… Ocean's Eleven?"

" Yeah, Whatever," he stated in a not-caring tone… oh wait, my mistake. It was his normal voice.

" Ok then 7:00. Umm...we'll have 2 doughnuts to go please. 1 chocolate and Derek?"

" Shoclite, Peas!"

" 2 chocolate."

" $3.18." She handed him the change and walked out the door towards the inn. Rory waited until her mother was out of sight. Then, she did the unthinkable. She leaned over the counter and… KISSED JESS! It wasn't like major make out, just a small peck, but still SHE KISSED JESS!

" Thank you," she said

" What did I do?"

" You made plans with my mother. If you seriously want to try again, you two are going to have to like each other."

" She already likes me!" he protested

" Really? Because she likes me too and yet she's never thrown anything at my head!"

" It was friendly banter!"

"Oh, ok," she said not believing a word.

" So. Tomorrow?"

" Yes, it's a day," she stated confused.

" I mean to you want to go out," he said shyly, " on a date?"

" Of course," once again she leaned over and kissed him. " See you at 7?"

" Yeah, seven."

" Ok, bye."

" Goodbye, Rory."

The day went on. Rory went back to Yale for her 2 classes and people filled in and out of the diner. Before leaving Jess made 2 burger and brownies, knowing it would get him on Lorelai's good side.

Ding-Dong.

" Jess," Lorelai announced while she opened the door. " Oh and he brought food."

" Yeah that's the polite thing to do," He said. To his left, Derek was watching Blue's Clues. " Hey Little Man."

Derek got off the couch and ran towards Jess, "S!" Over the past 2 weeks they'd gotten close. After all, Jess was the only man in his life.

He picked Derek up and asked, " How was your day?"

" Good. Made ictures."

" Really? Can I see them?" The little boy nodded as he wiggled himself free from Jess. Then, he walked into the kitchen and Jess followed. On the fridge were hand-drawn pictures. Derek pointed to one, " Dat's Ory and dat's 'E-tus."

" Do you like Cletus?"

" Uh-um. Mommy sayz dat I gots to be older to 'ide him"

" Yeah in a few years."

" Jess! Derek! Movie!"

They both entered and projected on the screen was:

_The Lorelais Movie Night Rules_

_NO TALKING_

_NO PAUSING_

_NO PHONE ANSWERING_

_NO HEALTH FOOD EATING_

_ABSOULETY NO CHANGING THE MOVIE UNTILL IT'S FINISHED_

_The above rules are really guidelines for the actual LORELAIS!_

" You have got to be kidding me!"

"Oh no. A Lorelai never kids above her movie night rules."

" You made this for you?"

" Why do you ask?'

" Because I know you're not smart enough to do it by your self." He smirked. It seemed like that was the only thing he was capable of doing, smirking.

"Derek why don't you go upstairs to be huh? You're a big boy now. You can go by yourself." She told her son and waited until he was out of earshot to address Jess. " Luke made it for me. Every time we'd watch movies I'd make up rules that weren't rules, so he made it on the disk. I got to pick the font and what it said though."

The smirk left Jess' face the moment he heard Luke, " I'm sorry,"

" No don't be. It's good to remember the happy stuff."

" I tried that, but it always ends up in remembering he's gone." He said seconds away from tears. Quickly, he regained himself.

" Well let's get this movie started. Have you ever seen it before?"

" No,"

" Oh My God! It's so good and I didn't even get to Brad and George!"

" Brad and George?" he said desperately hoping he didn't know who she was talking about.

" BRAD AND GEORGE! Are you kidding me? BRAD PITT? GEORGE CLOONEY! Ringing any bells?"  
He cringed, " I said NO CHICK FLICKS!"

"It's not a chick flick. They rob a bank."

" It's got Pitt and Clooney in it. It's a chick flick"

" They rob a bank. On what planet is that considered chick flicky?"

_Man this isn't about the movie. It's about Lorelai liking you, so you and Rory can be together. _" Whatever. Can we just watch it?"

"Fine," she placed the DVD in, sat on the couch, and pressed play. From then on it was silent except for the occasional laugh or 'O-o-o This is a good part'. It was their way of bonding. Pure silence.

* * *

A/N: See much happier. It will get sadder. Next chapter: Rory and Jess' second first date. Ocean's Eleven and Twelve are both awesome movies! Go see them if you haven't! I mean it's summer… have fun!

I LOVE MY READERS MORE WHEN THEY REVIEW! IN A COMPLETELY PLATONIC WAY!


	5. The Meltdown

A/N: I am a really big liar. I am like the blue dude in Big Fat Liar. Rory and Jess' date is being postponed till next chapter. Sorry. Just for clarification Derek was born on February 18, 2006.If Lorelai and Jess seem to have a sexual connection, it's not intended! Lorelai isn't like that! Neither is Jess! Big thanks to **JoEySaNgEl1534**! YOU ROCK! This chapter is sad. Really sad.

**

* * *

**

The Meltdown

She couldn't believe where she was. She turned to Rory who had momentarily put down The Fountainhead and gave her a get-me-out look. She only smiled and returned back to the text. She was fine really. She was stable, in no need of help, yet she was sitting in a shrink office.

" Lorelai Danes," Danes… that wasn't even her last name anymore. Lorelai got up and followed the nice nurse to a clear door, which read, Daisy Arujo. Lorelai opened the door to revile a girl of about her height and caramel colored hair.

"Hello. I'm Daisy," she stretched out her right hand.

Lorelai shook her hand while saying, " Lorelai,"

" So how are you today?" she said while she walked over to a chair and sat down. Lorelai sat opposite her on a black leather couch.

" I'm fine and you,"

" Good. Thanks,"

" I have never done this before," she confessed with an awkward smile.

" Ok. Well we basically just talk. Not necessarily why you're here, but just about whatever you feel comfortable."

" Ok, umm I have a 2 year old son whose name is Derek. I can barely look at him anymore. He's just so Luke,"

" Who's Luke?"

" My husband. He was hit by a drunk driver and died,"

" I'm sorry. How long ago was that?"

" Almost a month,"

" Do you have any other children?"

" Yeah my daughter, Rory, is 23 and she's graduating Yale next month."

" You must be very proud,"

" I am." She sat nervously and her eyes wondered around the room. She hated this stupid small talk. She just wanted to get this over with.

" Lorelai, do you want to talk about what happened?"

She nodded and the memory flooded back.

* * *

It seemed like a normal day. Just Lorelai, Rory, and Derek sitting at a table. Lorelai and Rory were drinking coffee and Derek was drinking apple juice out of a sippy cup. Jess approached him said, " Lorelai, my stuff from New York came in today."

" Oh great!"

" Yeah so if you guys want Luke's stuff, you should get it today or tomorrow."

" Umm today's fine for me. Rory?"

" I have a 10:00 class today that should be over by 11. So I won't be here until 12."

" You both could come in then. It's the rush hour though."

" That's fine Jess. We're perfectly capable ladies. Right, Rory?"

"Yes," she nodded and sipped her godly nectar.

" Do you have any boxes?"

" No,"

" Ok well I have to find some,"

"I might have extras since I am moving out of Yale soon."

"Perfect,"

" So do you guys want to order?"

" I'm having pancakes with a side of sausage,"

"Umm" Rory thought for a moment, " a chocolate doughnut and pancakes with a side of bacon."

"Derek will have a chocolate doughnut,"

That was it. Jess eventually brought them their food and they ate it. They paid and went off for the day.

As the clock struck 12, Jess scrambled about the diner taking orders, serving orders. It was pure chaos. Lorelai and Rory walked carrying flat boxes while Derek waddled behind them.

He saw Jess and said, " Hi S"

" Hey Derek!" he replied. They both went on their way and Jess continued his this 'dance of the diner' for about 15 minutes before going upstairs. The room was a vision of boxes: open boxes, closed boxes, written on boxes, and taped boxes. He couldn't even see people. All he could see was boxes.

" Guys, where are you?"

"Down here," Rory replied.

" I am so glad you give such vivid direction, Ror."

" Your welcome. Just follow the sound of my voice."

He attempted this while Rory rambled on about figgy pudding. "Rory, Christmas isn't for another 7 months,"

" So, when has figgy pudding become a strictly a Christmas dessert,"

He was getting closer, " Since the beginning of time." He found the trio sitting over a black baking pan that was in scripted with 'Derek's pan September 2006-September 2007' in silver sharpie.

" Why does that say Derek's pan?"

Smiling at the thought, Lorelai responded, " One day I forgot to put toys in the baby bag, and Luke took him that day. He gets to the diner and realized he had nothing for him to play with, so he tries his key, his baseball cap, and his measuring spoons. Nothing was keeping this kid occupied, so as a last resort he used this pan and Derek thinks it the best thing in the world. So until last year this pan went everywhere with him, and I mean everywhere. Friday night dinner, the inn, the diner, the car, his crib. And it was only this pan too, no other pan could replace his 'fan'."

Jess snickered asking, " What would he do with it?"

" Bang on it, sit in it, and he attempted to wear it a few times."

" God your kid had serious issues!"

" Hey," Rory slapped him playfully, " That's my brother you're talking about!"

Lorelai became silent and tears suddenly dripped from her face.

" Mom?"

Lorelai faced was now a bright pink and her make-up smudged. " Why Rory? Why me? Who did I hurt so bad that they took him from me?" Rory, crying, wrapped her arms around her mother and rocked her back and forth. Jess took Derek downstairs, where the world was operating normally. Lorelai continued, " I miss him so much. I miss his face. I miss everything about him, Ror. I can't function anymore. I NEED HIM. I can't raise Derek without him. I can't breathe without him. It hurts so bad, Rory."

" Shhh. I know." She tried to comfort her.

" No you don't. No one does. I can't keep putting on this mask anymore. I can't pretend I'm happy when all I can think about is him not being here. I need him." She sobbed heavily for almost an hour repeating 'I need him' until she fell asleep in Rory's arms. Rory then moved her to the bed, called the inn, and went down stairs. The diner was empty except for Jess and Derek, who was asleep in the playpen.

" How is she?" He asked while taking off a fresh pot.

"Asleep,"

" How are you?"

"Awful,"

" I'm sorry," he said while coming around the counter and giving her a hug.

" I just can't see her like this anymore," she said in sobs.

" You both are going to be fine," tightening his grip while taking in the smell of her hair.

" No we're not. You should've of heard her. She kept going on about how she couldn't survive and she couldn't breathe."

" I know,"

"She's such a mess," she continued sobbing into Jess, sweet caring Jess. Who'd turned into her Luke as soon as he entered the town limits, " Oh god. I'm a mess."

Jess pulled a tissue out of a nearby box and handed it to her.

" Thanks… for all of this," she said as she blew her nose.

" It's nothing,"

" No it's something. I mean ever since you got here you've been like Superman,"

" You're welcome," a few seconds of silence passed, " What do you think caused it?"

" Probably just being in there. All the memories."

* * *

"I came down the stairs and that was it and after we got home Rory told me I had an appointment with you,"

"Wow," Daisy said as she wiped a tear of her face, as did Lorelai.

" Yeah,"

" How are you feeling?"

Lorelai contemplated this for a while, " It's a whole mix of feelings really. I'm so sad because he's not here. I'm relieved to have actually broken down."

" Why?"

" Because now it's off my chest. I don't have to keep smiling. I know that if I need to I can break down. I don't have to just fight through it."

" Well that seems to be it for the day." She stated while standing, " Lorelai, it was very nice to speak with you today."

Lorelai followed suit while saying, " You, too."

"If you choose you may make another appointment next week or whenever you see fit,"

" Thanks," Lorelai went to the waiting room to see Rory had moved on to Please Kill Me.

"How was it?"

"Fine,"

" How do you feel?"

" Much better. Thank you for sending me here without my approval."

" You're most very welcome,"

" Well let's get out of here! I know someone has a date with a very special someone."

Rory blushed, " Yeah"

"Come on you only have 3 hours to get ready,"

" Oh god. We're getting out of here." With that she grabbed her stuff and went for the car. When she got home, Rory would be preparing for one of the most romantic nights of her life. If only she knew.

* * *

A/N: Ok I know she really randomly broke down, but I had the same experience recently so I wrote it of that. I know it was really sad. I was even crying during this chapter. Lorelai's shrink is named after Julia Robert's character in Mystic Pizza, which is set in a small town in Connecticut. I'm the biggest Julia Roberts junkie, so that's why she's in there. Rory and Jess' date is next chapter, I PROMISE. I know how everything is going to happen and it truly will be one of the most romantic dates of her life! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! 


	6. The Date

A/N: Here it is! The date! YEAH! **JoEySaNgEl1534 **thanks on the dinner recommendation. If you reviewed, thanks! It's shorter than my past chapters, but I think that is made up for by content.

* * *

**The Date **

The bell rang at 8:00 exactly, to Lorelai's and Rory's surprise

"Mom, please get that I didn't think he'd be on time." She said putting the silver, danglies into her ear.

" That makes two of us,"

" Mom, door!"

" Yeah, Yeah," She said while opening the door to revel a man with black slacks, a black t-shirt, and a matching black jacket.

" Who are you and what have you done with Jess Mariano?"

" Ha ha," he said entering the residence.

" You clean up very nicely,"

" Why thank you,"

" Rory!" She screamed up the stairs, " There's a man down here,"

Rory came down the stairs, hand on the banister, just like that scene in 'The Princess Diaries' except Rory'd always been that gorgeous. She was wearing a silk, blue cami that brought out the color of her eyes, white capris, and the previously mentioned earrings. To him, she looked like an angel floating down from a cloud, and she was. She saw this look in his eye and smiled, knowing no person would ever look at her like he did. She reached the end of the stairs and stood letting that feeling wash over her.

"Ok kids, you're gunna have to get out soon!"

" Right," he snapped first, took her hand and lead her out the door.

" Ahh to be young and in love again," was heard through the glass door.

She smiled, as did he. Then, from his jacket pocket he took out a silk scarf.

" What's that for?"

"You,"

" Really?"

" Yup," he came behind her and tied it in the back of her head, careful not to ruin her hair that was twisted up.

" Is this necessary?" She felt around for his hand to guide her.

"Yes," He took her hand and put the other on her back.

" Where are we going?"

" That's, step, for me, step, to, step, know and you to, step, find out,"

" Ok," The walk was not far, and Rory knew they were there when a smell of vanilla permeated through the air. " What is that?"

"Open your eyes and find out," he tempted, while un-tying the scarf.

She did so, and what she saw left her speechless. They were at the bridge where a black table, set for two, and two matching chair stood. That was far, far from the most perfect thing about this night. There were candles, white candles floating in the river, hundreds of them.

" Oh, My God! Jess!"

" I know, I'm good," the smirk playing on his face.

She was fanning her face to prevent any crying/make-up ruining, " It's so perfect,"

"It gets better," he commented, walking towards the closes chair and pulling it out for her. She sat and watched Jess pour each of them a glass of champagne. She took the top off her dish and saw a piece of lasagna.

" You made me lasagna?"

" Not just lasagna, Luke's lasagna."

"Really?" Her eyes widened.

"Yes, go ahead have a piece." She daintily did as told, not wanting the piece to fall apart.

" This is good," They continued the meal, talking about Yale, Bono, and Slash's Cash.

" Why do they do this?" she questioned.

" Because they're out to kill their children's social life." He stated simply, putting his fork down and clearing his throat, " Before we have dessert, I have to talk to you,"

" What do you call this?"

" Mindless babble that you've inherited from your mother,"

" I resent that, but I let you continue just cause you look very serious."

" I want to apologize,"

" For?"

" For being stupid. First, I fracture your wrist. Then, I leave without saying goodbye. Then, I come back and kiss you while you were dating Dean. Then, you leave and Shane happens. Then, I steal your bracelet. Then, I leave again without saying goodbye and break your heart. Then, I come back and say I love you and leave. Then, I want you to come away with me. What I am trying to say is I'm sorry and I know that's probably not enough and a little too late, but it's all I got."

" You didn't have to, you know,"

" Didn't have to what?"

" Come back, be Mr. Luke, apologize. For me, just being here is enough," she reached over the table to grab his hand, " and I know you've changed. I mean, the way you are with Derek and at the funeral."

" Thanks for being so forgiving,"

" You're welcome."

" Now, on a much lighter note, dessert," he reached under the table and grabbed a Tupperware container.

" Ooo what is it?" he opened the container and inside were two brownies, one shaped like an 'R' and one shaped like a 'J'. She laughed before saying, " I have never have someone carve my initial in a brownie. I feel so loved,"

" Well, you are."

" I know," she said while taking a bite out of her dessert. They continued their previous discussion on Bono as they finish their dessert.

" Jess,"

" Yes, Rory,"

" Dance with me,"

" I can't. I have a physical aliment that doesn't allow me to dance."

" Pllllllllleeeeeeeeeassssssssse! Please!"

" No Rory," he was going to hold his ground.

" Jess, come on! It's too pretty not to dance."

Knowing he wouldn't win this one, " Fine,"

"Thank you," She got up out of her chair and went over to him. They walked a little farther before wrapping their arms around each other. They swayed gently, the sounds of the crickets was their song. An outsider could have seen it, the look. It was intentional as are looks like these. It said, ' If I never have to leave this spot, I'll be ok because I'm with you.' It said what they couldn't say themselves. It said, ' I love you.'

* * *

A/N: I cried writing that last line. I love this chapter so much and I hope you did too. It left me with a feeling of perfection that I hope you can recognize.Slash's Cash is areference to the fact thatSlash named his kid Cash.Slashis the guitarist formGunsN Roses.Please review because I put my heart into this and I deserve some feedback. 


	7. Looking Back

A/N: Guys, it's over. I know it's a little abrupt to end it here, but I was straying from the original plot. This last chapter is 14 years in the future. Lots of tears went into this whole story, but this last chapter is probably the biggest tear jearker. It's of the POV of each of the main characters on how Luke's death affected them within the past 14 years.

* * *

**Looking Back**

DEREK'S POV

November 30: Dad's Dark Day, April 27: my Dark Day. It's the one-day a year I hate that man. The man who decided to illegally drive his car while intoxicated. I promised myself a long time ago I wouldn't do that, drive drunk or let my friends drive drunk. April 27 is the day I go away. I have never gone to school that day ever. I don't hang out with my friends or anything. I can't go into Luke's and I can't look at Jess or Anna and Holden, my niece and nephew. I know it's weird that I do it. I mean, I didn't even no him that well, but yet on April 27 I have my dark day. I go to his grave and then go to the bridge and take the Lorelai, the boat, out on the lake. This was my mom's and I's tradition till I turned 12, when I went on my own. This is the one-day, besides Father's Day, that not having a dad shuts me down and I cannot function. Growing up without wasn't as bad as one might think. I always have had Jess, he's the one person who I trust totally and completely. I was never that close with Mom. She was the best mom I could have asked for, but she and I were never as close as Rory and she. I am glad that happened, though. The relationship Rory and mom have is too special and a once in a lifetime thing. On this day I look through all the old baby pictures of me and my dad. I have memorized them so well it's not even funny. I'll admit I cry every April 27, while sitting in that boat. It's the perfect place to be alone. I can just sit there with a can of coke and cry, without having to feel pathetic or anything. It feels good. This is the one-day where I hate everyone's dads. I hate Jackson, Jess, and Christopher. I hate that they get to watch their kids grow up and mine doesn't get that. This is the day I'm most selfish. I don't feel for Rory, Mom, and Jess, who lost him when they most needed him. But at least they knew him. At least they get to tell stories about him. I have always imagined life with a dad. But really I was ok without him. I had Mom, Rory, Jess, and Stella and, even though on April 27 I cry because he's not here, I've been ok with those four.

LORELAI'S POV

I miss him so much. Some days more than others, our anniversary, Derek's birthday, Rory's wedding. The day my parents died I needed him so bad. I needed his shoulder so bad, I thought it was the one thing that would've kept me sane. I have moved on after these 14 years, dated a few times, but it never felt right. So one Christmas when Derek was 6, I bought a cat, named her Stella and called it a day. Jess laughed, pregnant Rory cried. Stupid hormones. For me that was the end, after I bought a cat. God, I sound so depressed, but really that made me free. Free to raise my kid and be the best mother. Although Derek didn't become mini-Rory, I still needed to be there for my kid because he'd never have Luke, who is irreplaceable. Sometimes, I wish it could've been me for Derek's sake. I remember one day 2 months after Luke was gone, he cried his head off, saying, "I want daddy." For almost 3 hours, he cried. I cried that night, harder than I ever had before. I wish Luke could have watched him so badly… I know he is watching, but that's not the same. I wished Luke could've been there the day he first played baseball. Or when he went to kindergarten. Or when he was learning to read and he and Rory'd fall asleep in Rory's room, cuddled together. Or when Holden and Anna were born. It's not fair that he missed some of the best things in our son and daughter's life and will continue to miss things in our son and daughter's life. It's not fair. I hate that he wasn't here. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. And I know no matter how many times I say it, it won't change. I also know that one day we'll all meet again and that is the great white hope of the Danes clan.

RORY'S POV

Life without Luke was hard. At my graduation, receiving my diploma wasn't the same because when I looked out into that audience and saw the people I loved most he wasn't there. When I got married, Chris walking me down the aisle didn't feel right because Luke wasn't on my other arm. When Holden was born, naming him Lucas Holden Danes made me cry because Luke wasn't there. The day my first article for the Hartford Gazette was printed Luke wasn't there and I wish he could've because those were the times I wanted to share with him. Looking into my coffee cup brings back memories, the happy ones. The ones I thank god for. I was so lucky to share my life with this incredible man and I took it for granted. I loved Luke. He was my daddy, always will be.

JESS' POV

I hate myself for those years. I was such a stupid kid. Luke had taken me in and deemed me an ok kid. I was so lucky. I didn't realize it then, but I was so lucky to end up here, in this town with him. He brought me to Rory and for that I'm eternally grateful. He was the reason I didn't fall of the face of the earth or go to jail. He was the reason I got my G.E.D. He was the reason that I grew up. Luke was a better person than most. He may not have written the great American novel or served our country in a war, but he loved his family and his work and this town. I can only aspire to such greatness. Although, I think I'm coming pretty damn close.

* * *

A/N: I loved this story and this chapter and I hoped you did too. Thanks to anyone who reviewed. Look for my next story that will start pretty soon. It's called Oh, He's a Gilmore, Alright! JoEySaNgEl1534 thanks for all your advice and anytime you need to e-mail me. The Dark Day thing was from But Not As Cute As Pushkin and the 'great white hope of the Danes clan' was from Sadie, Sadie. 


End file.
